I want to feel the soft pebbled leather of a basketball leaving my hands over and over again every second, and the sound my high-tops make on the glossy wood floor.
I want to smell the grass after I cut it on a hot summer evening, wiping the pieces of butchered greens off my sweaty legs and arms.
I would give my most beloved possession just to stare down my long hometown street on a day as dark and grey as it's ever been...standing in the biggest puddle in the driveway, counting every rain drop as precious as diamonds... wishing I could stand there forever, that it could rain forever... that I could be there forever.
Time has passed and all I want back are the moments I never thought I'd remember. The clothes didn't matter, the boys didn't matter, the frivolous worries of my young self didn't matter. I remember none of the schoolhouse drama, except that it wasn't worth remembering. But those moments I had to myself, where I was just living... I would give anything to go back to those little glimpses of time and shake the young girl before me. I would grab her by the shoulders and shake her till she understood. I would kiss her cheek, and tell her she will be so loved someday. That she will look into the eyes of another human that she grew inside of her. I wish she knew that she would experience the kind of love that leaves its mark on your chest forever.